BAYWATCH DVD FILM REVIEW

Baywatch may be the hottest movie of the summer. After all we have a great cast that includes, Zac Efron, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, , Kelly Rohrbach, , Alexandra Daddario, and Priyanka Chopra, all in one movie. But the added attraction is that the film is going to be really raunchy. Can all these attributes make the film a hit?

Johnson stars as veteran lifeguard Mitch Buchannon, who quickly comes into conflict with cocky newcomer Matt Brody (Zac Efron), a gold medal-winning swimmer who seems not entirely unlike Ryan Lochte. Mitch and Matt butt heads over their clashing styles, but team up as hints of a criminal conspiracy led by the villainous Victoria Leeds (Priyanka Chopra, briefly glimpsed in the trailer) emerge and bodies start to pile up.

Direction wise Seth Gordon gives us an open-air exhibition of body parts. It relies on the three big Bs- boobs, butts and biceps, to give us all entertainment of the titillation crude kind. The film has in abundance vulgar gags galore that are like Bad Neighbours and all those outlandish sex comedies revisited. Baywatch is based on the 1989-2001 TV series on lifeguards, damsels and dudes in distress, and assorted mayhem. Even the small screen’s original star attractions pop up for thoroughly unimpressive cameos.
Performance wise we have the bargain basement Arnie , Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson stepping into Hasselhoff’s sandals. And he’s backed by Zac Efron, enacting a two-time gold medal winner of the swimming title at the Olympics, no less.  Zac’s had some issues and has to redeem his honour and that sort of baloney. The chemistry and the won-upmanship between Johnson and Efron are the best aspect of this  Bikini Bounce Party. The bromance between the hunks keeps you somewhat amused, while the plot as such thickens and sickens.

Pamela Anderson’s role of  C.J. Parker,the fearless femme of sunny California, is assigned to Kelly Rohrbach. And for her support system, there’s Alexandra Daddario. Parachuting into citrus red swim wear, these two hour-glass figures are straight out of those Playboy/Penthouse centrespreads, an essential component of coming to age in the last millennium. We have Priyanka Chopra as the villain   Victoria Leeds, she’s responsible for running a drugs-and-real estate racket on the Californian shores. How uninspiring is thiss plot device, strictly bores.

There’s precious little for Ms Chopra to do, shehas been misused in a part which is more cartoonish than menacing. Baywatch is punctuated with a blazing yacht, mobike stunts, a drag act and uncool macho one-liners, the sort you’ve suffered through in the B-grade flicks. Seth Gordon,  who’s directed films like Horrible Bosses and Identity Thief, is slick-chic enough in terms of technical varnish, but that’s it.

Baywatch is a train wreck of a summer blockbuster. Avoid at all costs and do not watch. Priyanka and Deepika need to stay in Hindi cinema as Hollywood is not going to give them anything memorable!.

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